When someone can tell you how you’re meant to pray, what words you are allowed when crying out to the divine, ’subjugation’ just doesn’t cut it.

It is for the same purpose that we seek to use that word. We aren’t trying to bestow the Name upon any one or thing we think lowly. We don’t seek to disparage or denigrate Its Meaning or your reverence for It. We want to use It in the same way that you do. To speak of God.

To debate me on this is fair enough. But that you have put aside your benignity to burn down a place of worship… you have done more damage to His Name than you sought to fend off.

I live in a country forever in fear of May. Forever gripped by the thought that its right arm might once again rise to do harm to its other members.

It’s a fear, a terror that keeps me in silence. I don’t seek equality. I don’t seek freedom of speech, or to be naturalized or feel enfranchised in the country of my grandfather’s birth.

But I settle for a peace. On the brink. And I am worth more. More than enough to be called a son of this soil. More than enough to pray dalam bahasa negaraku (in the language of my country). In words yang dipilih olehku (that are chosen by me).

My blood is worth more spent in my veins than spilt, our churches worth more to our communities upright than burnt.

Even to a Muslim.

So I don’t get it. I don’t understand why I’m not of you. Why I can’t call God as you do. And why you get to direct, move, pacify and rule

me.

I did the right thing, and went with the family for New Year’s Mass.

Christmas was spent at St. John’s, so we figured New Year’s would be great at CDM (Church of the Divine Mercy) in Shah Alam. And it was.

The theme for 2010 involves “integration” which, as you know, is a humdinger for my family. What came as a surprise to us though was how well our parish priest, Fr. Paulino, speaks Tamil and Mandarin.

Communion – or rather, the sacramental blessings – was/were done in English, B.Malaysia, Tamil and Mandarin, different parts in each language. Speaking as an Indian-Chinese Malaysian whose first language is English, that was *omitting expletive* awesome!

It’s nice to know that the words ‘holy’, ‘blessed’, ‘love’ and ‘God’ exist in each of those tongues.

Fr Paulino did forget the countdown though. Which was… well, you can’t have everything. But we did do the bog standard Auld Lang Syne. Countdown aside, a great way to ring in the New Year.

Happy 2010 people! Peace & blessings in the new decade. Do you hear me Obama?

My iPhone 3G (sans-S) decides to act up a week before my trip to Hanoi. Part of the problem was the glitchy 3.1 update, the other part: a faulty headphone port – damaged by the oversized jack on the V-Moda Vibe Duos.

No service centre in the land would touch my Hong Kong bought 3G. I was told by one mothafraker at the MidValley Machines store to take a flight to Hong Kong and get it fixed. This fool said it without a hint of irony or sarcasm. The A-hole meant it!

So I gave in.

I had originally resisted the ‘S’ when it came out, grumbling about the fact that I’d hafta spend 3k on one damned letter of the alphabet. “It stands for speed.” Frak you Forestall!

With mine broken though, I figured it was as good a time as any to replace and upgrade.

Turns out, stock of the 3GS is not only short, in my neck of the globe, it’s just plain out. So I decided to hit KL’s gadget underworld – the Low Yat mall. It’s half Tech-Wonderland, half you-betta-watchyo-back-’fore-somebody-robs-ya-man.

I was on the hunt for a unit with a Maxis warranty. After hours of sifting through jailbroken US units, Singaporean and Hong Kong imports and knock off iPhone Minis (O, it’s Malaysia baby, we have it all!), I finally found one, in the hands of a guy who wasn’t gonna cut me any breaks.

The Maxis Apple iPhone 3GS 32GB model retails for RM2,990 (that’s about 863 in USD). I ended up paying RM3,580 (that’s about ThisFoolMadeMeHisBitch in USD).

I’m still reeling!

On the way out of Tech Wonderland – watching my back in case somebody tried to rob me, man – I saw bargain laptops, offered at half the price of what I just paid for a phone. A phone!

Apple’s put out a really great gadget, one that had me on the hunt for most of my precious Sunday. From my first 2G iPhone, though – bound with a contract that signed over my first born to O2 – to today’s purchase, I’ve never been able to shake the feeling that I’ve been duped. It’s the one part of the iPhone experience I really wish Apple would change.

I’ve never had a problem with the “Apple Tax”, having been a Mac user for just shy of a decade now. I was always made to feel as though I came out with the bargain – the quality of the products justified it.

With all three iPhones though, I’ve left the store (two of ‘em Apple’s own) with a bad taste in my mouth. Being a company that places so much emphasis on buyer satisfaction and user experience, you’d think Apple would want to change that.

Mobile phone makers, listen up: I’m looking to break free. I want a phone with a great web browser, IMAP and Exchange, a good media player and a decent interface. Feel free to break the bank. Just treat me better than Apple has.

CNET’s Molly Wood once used the “bad boyfriend” analogy to describe Apple. And that works! Here in Malaysia, we have our own expression for that: “Pisau Cukur“. It’s not too different from Kanye’s Gold Digger. You can’t resist her but it just take too much to love her!

It frightens me a little how dry I am, devoid of copy at the end of a work day. It’s 5am on a Sunday and possibly the only reason why I’m able to string together a sentence is because I’ve been on sick leave since Thursday.

I know some editors do it. Write. I’ve seen it done. So why am I dry? I can caption damn near anything. Write, on command, just to fill space. On Clinton. Kugan. Blagojevich. Britney Spears. Name it mothafraker! And here I sit, completely petrified of my Wordpress login screen.

I’ve swapped designs 3 times since my last post. Editing and coding PHP, but never adding to the pool it would house. So here I am, blogging about blogger’s block. Huh.

And maybe that’s enough to knock the fear out of me.

I’m coming back to see.

Tomorrow.

I dare me!

I don’t care where you are in the world, the end of the Bush reign is something to celebrate.

I pondered what I’d post to mark the day when a friend, Uma, wrote something that I couldn’t better. He is probably one of our best writers and the only Malaysian more optimistic than I am about America’s possibilities.

His column happens to run on Tuesdays (today) and it makes for the perfect read on a day when hope is a little less audacious and a new found optimism lightens the weight of a tough road ahead.

Enjoy.

In it he runs through the crimes committed by European societies against the Jews, fueled by a fear and hatred of the latter. He uses it to justify his own anti-semitism. Then he goes further, listing offenses the Jews have committed in Islamic history.

Moving quickly past the obvious fallacies in his argument – one, that a people may not be deserving of the fear and hatred they receive and two, that religious texts are rarely good historical sources – let me move on to the part for which I have the most disdain.

He kicks off his final paragraph with, “Kita bukan anti kaum tertentu, atau anti-semitic secara membabi buta seperti Hitler atau masyarakat Eropah dahulu.” (We are not against any particular race or anti-semitic in the way that Hitler and the societies of Europe were, blind and without logic.) “Namun jika kita melihat Yahudi Israel hari ini mengkhianati perjanjian atau bersikap jahat, itu bukanlah perkara baru dan pelik untuk mereka kerjakan.” (But if we look at the Jews of today’s Israel, them going back on their word and their immoral nature, it isn’t something new or unexpected for them to be so capable.) “Kepercayaan Hitler itu, mungkin ada benarnya.” (Maybe there was truth in Hitler’s beliefs.)

The columnist, Dr Maza, doesn’t deny his anti-semitism or prejudice outright. He claims that “we” aren’t prejudiced “secara membabi buta”.

So I guess as long as the pig isn’t blind all is well!

What worries me the most about the clear anti-semitism expressed in this column is that it is often followed, in Malaysia, by a wave of anti-Sinoism (hostility toward or prejudice against the Chinese), a culture that men like Dr Maza have within their power to oppress.

Politicians, pundits and commentators here often draw comparisons between what the Jews did in Europe to what the Chinese have done here, economically. It ends up being a justification for anything short of a holocaust. We had our Kristallnacht just not an Auschwitz, and that apparently gives Maza the right to claim he’s more evolved in his sense of prejudice.

I whole-heartedly disapprove of the actions of Israel in the recent Gaza conflict. My friends can’t shut me up about it. But evil is never as simple as a race, a people or a country. Just as genius needs its mistakes and just as heroes can often show themselves to be cads before a moment of glory, lines blur. You judge actions just as the law should judge persons charged. Never a people.

There might have been truth in Hitler. His mustache was true-black on a Bravia (homeboy was as Aryan as me). But truth in hatred is no truth worth having at all. You may have reason to hate someone but every religion, even yours Dr. Maza, asks that you let it go for your own sake.

I am ever more weary and less forgiving of learned men who would exercise prejudice against an entire race of people. They’ve had every opportunity to notice the determined nature of individual consciences. To see that people can always surprise.

They’ve done the math and still they decide that the thoughts and actions of a majority is enough to diminish the rights and standing of an entire race of people. That summation, symptomatic of a lazy approach to life (in my opinion), puts me off.

I wish I could tell you that I feel deep shame over the sentiment expressed by this Dr Maza. I don’t. He isn’t of me. And our divide speaks to a deeper one in my country, a nation that remains in pieces.

I’m just looking to the academic institution that gave him his Ph.D. With an argument made in such bad form, somebody should take something back!

I placed an order for a pair on Tuesday and was surprised when DHL showed up with my order this morning.

Heard from a friend that Malaysians who ordered iWork ‘09, right after Tuesday’s Macworld keynote, will also be getting their orders before the week is out.

No Apple retailer in KL can tell me when the In-Ear Headphones will be in stock or when they expect iWork or iLife ‘09 to go on sale in their stores. It’s no competition really. Apple.com wins!

I’m still waiting for a Malaysian Amazon. I miss buying books, CDs and DVDs online. If Apple can do it that efficiently then any…well…it should be possible to at least pull it off

HP caught my attention when they put out one of the first netbooks that could pass for an ultraportable PC: the MiniNote 2133. No cheap looking plastic, a useable keyboard and sleek design. It still had that tiny 8″ screen, which kinda ruled it out for me.

With the Mini 1000, HP bumped the screen up to a ten incher and bathed the same compact chassis in black.

It was one of the smartest buys I’ve made all year and the first PC I’ve loved using this decade.

I’ve found that if a chef has the good sense to keep his Char Siew pink, every other dish is enjoyable. Here’s how to grade a dim sum restaurant by the colour of their Char Siew Pau.

The further right the pau’s filler is on the gradient, the tastier it is and the better the restaurant.

Because the pork is barbecued first and then steamed in a bun, it’s a hard one for the cook to get right. Many often overcook the meat and burn the pinkness out of the sauce, or they start with a horrible black marinade to begin with.

It is the first dish I order when scoping out a new place. I take one look at the center of a Char Siew Pau and if the sucker ain’t pink, I’m finishing early and I won’t be back for seconds.

It’s gotten to be a running joke with some of my friends. “Uh-oh, Joe’s lookin’ at the pau. Is it pink? Damn…are we leaving?”

Friends joked about a swatch that they could use to grade their local dim sum place by “the J standard”. I always laughed it off until recently when a friend took me to a restaurant, raving about their Char Siew Pau.

The pork came out black. I didn’t say a word. Had to smile and pretend everything was tasty, making “mmmMMMMM” noises through 10 bad dishes.

Got back and Photoshop-ed me a swatch. Now save yourselves the pain

For years now Jay Chow has been referred to as the Chinese King of R&B, an assertion that has always annoyed the hell outta me. Don’t get it twisted, I’m not saying that Jay isn’t talented. I’m just saying…you have more of a chance squeezing an R&B riff out a Russian White-Supremacist than one of ole’ Jay’s pop songs.

Back to the new guy.

He’s actually been around for a while. His name is Khalil Fong (方大同) and his fourth release, Orange Moon, came out earlier this week. If you like Robin Thicke, early Brian McKnight or Joe, meet your brand new jones:

Merry Christmas by the way.

I know I’ve neglected to post a Christmas wish. It’s been too painful to actually think about the friends so far away I have to actually round up the distance between us to the nearest thousand miles. I miss you all and I’ve been praying, wishing, hoping to see you soon.

I’ll be back to wish you a Happy New Year in another post. And since most of you are at least 8 hours behind me (if not 12 or 14) – I’ll let you know about this whole 2009 thing.

Levis has placed images of men with their trousers undone and the slogan “Live Unbuttoned” all over my city.

Now I notice most of these boys are in a seated position. Guess you’d have to be, to keep ‘unbuttoned’ trousers above your knees. If the new look du jour won’t hold up to standing, I’m'a hafta hang back a couple seasons.

The effort, when shopping for a pair jeans goes into finding the right fit. Why they’d sell you a pair that you can’t button is beyond me.

And they even used an Asian boy in the ad! Where is his mamma?

The part that most frustrates me – to the point where I had to blog this from my phone – is the fact that in this Muslim country, where I am never permitted to see a nipple on screen, you can have a man exposed and that’s alright. Apparently only men lust to the point of sin.

Speaking of…I have always wondered why clothing designers use naked people to sell wares. Don’t that mean I don’t need you, just liposuction?

First I had to deal with CK trying to sell me cologne by putting Travis Flimmel in a farting position on a couch. Now it’s D&G and Cavali with “male-cleavage”, and Vogue Homme with the importance of a treasure trail.

They say fashion, in it’s true essence, is about self-expression through clothes. “F*¢k me” takes a second to convey. Now what else you got?

Rightly or wrongly, I’ve always felt that Malaysians were never ready for the live-in maids that middle-class households suddenly became able to afford in the 1990s. The living arrangements never seemed quite right and the boundaries (physical and non-) were never properly drawn. We take liberties with them that we wouldn’t take with anyone else, in any other set-up or situation.

This wasn’t the first case of its kind and in the other ones that memory serves the guilty were all, for other intents and purposes, rational and functional citizens who stepped over the line.

It’s shameful. So shameful in fact that I’m almost certain we won’t deal with it. We never broach the uncomfortable creases.

Yoga has been made “haram” for Muslims by Malaysia’s National Fatwa Council.

Taken from a piece inThe Sunday Star:

[National Fatwa Council] chairman Datuk Dr Abdul Shukor Husin said yoga had been practised by the Hindu community for thousands of years and incorporated physical movements, religious elements together with chants and worshipping, with the aim of “being one with God”.
…
“Because of this, we believe that it is inappropriate for Muslims to do yoga. The council is declaring that practising yoga, when it comes together with the three elements, is haram,” he told a press conference here yesterday.
…
“In Islam, a believer must not do things that can erode one’s aqidah or faith. Doing yoga, even just the physical movements, is a step towards erosion of one’s faith in the religion, hence Muslims should avoid it,” he said.
…
“There are many other forms of exercise that Muslims can partake in, especially when the religion promotes healthy living and lifestyle. Performing prayers, for example, is a good form of exercise,” he said.

I don’t think I need to add anything to that. Defense rests!

I’m fine with expression having limits, but why must your limits be mine. I have eyelids. Put away your scissors.

Pinker presents his contentious research and posits perfectly. The presentation is paced and structured extremely well.

I don’t stand a chance of making it there this year and I am longing to go. I appreciate what’s been made available online though. They’ve got a pretty great archive up.

Well, after my first few weeks at MICROSOFT…uhuh, you read right…things haven’t been all that bad for this former Macist. I have an Apple on my phone and an MS logo on my ID card. Both fit in the same pocket just fine. My Manicbytes now flow from a Windows machine though and the sight of me on a VAIO has turned some friends cold.

Every single close friend and ex whom I’ve brought over to the cult of Mac has come back to whale on me. But this mista now runs Vista…sorry I couldn’t resist that…and the transition was smoother than I thought it would be. I realized that the brushed-metal of 10 kinda overstayed its welcome. But I’ve come to appreciate more than just Aero.

Microsoft offered me my first steady job out of University, a post I couldn’t turn down. I am the Country Editor of MSN Malaysia (I know…right!) and the youngest person on their team (by about 7 years). It’s a challenging role for me and an offer I gladly accepted.

Microsoft’s Online Services Group is one of the few in that arena still investing in their editorial content, in the Southeast-Asian region. I respect the company for that and they have made me feel welcome, Mac-flaws and all.

I love my new employer but don’t mind friends’ jokes. It’s another clash this Indian-Chinese, Catholic Malaysian with an American UK degree has taken into his stride. I’m funny that way. I hope I do my new job proud though and thank the Lord everyday for His blessings, to Him all glory and honour be.

I am closing and opening chapters left and right and it’s not a time that’s really great for blogging so if my mark is missed on these pages and you feel like catching up, just drop me a line.

I am sure though, that I’ll be back to blogging at my regular pace soon.

I wish all my friends the best in the coming year.

Peace & Blessings!

Jolene @ the Royal Albert Hall

Was going to get his autograph when I thought we might as well go for a picture. The first one, mind you, that I’ve taken with the iPhone cam. I look horrible but it’s a memory worth saving.

Like Apple’s Punk A$$ B*tch, I succumbed. And after three hours with it, I don’t regret it one little bit!

Now I’m taking my lil’ piece of Apple heaven with me into the next room and watch me some Grey’s Anatomy.

I thought I could get away with not posting this, but it turns out my mug got on TV yet again and in a couple of the press snapshots, now up on Flickr.

One question for my American compadres though, is it safe to hack mine yet?

Time Machine is still glitchy and Leopard isn’t playing nice with some of my external hard drives (all Mac formatted by the way). It doesn’t feel like a final release and the features, after all that pain, do little to make-up for the upgrade’s shortcomings.

Apple’s customer support people were a little lost and that’s when you do get through. The support lines are clogged up with people facing similar problems with Leopard. It might have helped having a notice up in stores or a troubleshooting guide in Leopard’s manual.

It also took a few hours to get Adobe CS3 up and running. Adobe’s customer support line struggled with Leopard’s issues as well. So if you’re a pro-user, with mouse-clicks that bring in a paycheck, I would wait for Apple to release a fix for their new cat before leaving your Tiger.

Apple was just on bad form. And while I’m still not ready to cop-a-PC, believe me, I’m getting there.

No clashing audio and video files, no ugly GIF-anis and no catastrophic code. Just a layout courtesy of LoveMyFlash.com, and 5 minutes work.

OK. I missed the 24 train. Never caught an episode without trying to avoid the series. Just never seemed to be in the right country when it aired. Finally decided I’d rent it…Blockbuster was doing a special on boxed sets.

In the past week I’ve watched the first 3 seasons back to back and have hit upon a WTF?-wall. You don’t actually find it that strange until the end of the second season. But then it dawns on you: If this actually all happened to one man, he’d be so dead, Pete would lose the paperwork.

Wasn’t ’til the third season when I saw one of the new characters, Chase, take a shovel to the head twice – and still walk around like he was modeling a black cast for Calvin Klein – that I realized 24 takes place in a whole other reality. It’s where good guys don’t bruise at all and every secret agent was once a client over at Ford Models. Kinda like Lost but with less realism.

I’m checking out season 4. I’m hooked. Who needs realism? I mean, all you need from TV is plausibility. And it’s completely plausible that a man can run in open space, with a trained assassin firing a machine-gun at him from a helicopter, and still make it out unscathed. The shrubbery protected him!

Go’n Jack, kick ass!

Beep 01:59:57. Beep 01:59:58. Beep 01:59:59. Beep 02:00:00.

When it plays video, I freak out! I feel like I’m holding some ET device in my hand. Even the futuristic movies don’t think up sh*t like this. I’ve never been high in my life, but I think someone slipped me something mann! This device is too small…it’s just too damned small!

There are no cases available for it yet. I was using something akin to shrink-wrap until this morning. While shooting the images above, I got an idea on how to make a temporary one out of that Oyster card holder.

So I’ll be responding to your emails in regular ole’ time. Particularly if you’re willing to play potential employer to this ‘desperately seeking…’ new grad. It’s been a month with no lasting bites and nasty thoughts creepeth in!